Friday, August 22, 2014

Queen Of The Castle

Little Lady was given a hand-me-down crown on Monday.  She thought it was really cool, but after putting it on one time, she has decided it's much more fun to make Mama wear the crown.  So I've spent a fair amount of time this week in yoga pants and a tiara.  Which isn't so bad.  Once it's on, it feels just like a headband.  Which is why, if you've seen my in public this week at all, this is what I've looked like. 

It's always fun when you're in public and someone compliments you on your tiara and you realize you forgot to take it off. 

I'm kinda thinking I should wear this tiara more often, though.  Besides making other people smile a lot, and keeping my hair out of my face, it may actually be making my life more extravagant.  For instance, on Tuesday night, after wearing it most of the day, I got to take a hot bath and then go out by myself.  I went for a sunset drive down a beautiful tree lined road, with the windows down and the sunroof open, and the radio blasting good music.  I stopped off at one of my favorite stores and went shopping by myself.  My shopping spree was so successful that it actually took me two trips to get it all in the house.  And when I got home I was able to kiss my kids goodnight and watch a show on Netflix with Hubs and not do any housework at all.  Doesn't that sound so luxurious?  Yeah, this crown may be here to stay if this is what it brings. 

Maybe before you go shopping the Target princess aisle for your own crown, I should fill in a few details in my story.  I don't know, in my mind, it all went down just like I told you, but, for full disclosure, here's the long version. 

Little Lady refused to eat dinner again.  Perhaps it was because we decided to eat outside, perhaps it was because she all of a sudden doesn't like any of her favorite foods anymore, perhaps its because she's the most stubborn creature on the face of the earth and has decided this is not the week to eat.  Whatever it was, she didn't eat dinner and since she's not really great at the whole gaining weight thing, we went for the fallback, which is drinking carnation instant breakfast.  Thank God, there was just enough milk left in the gallon to fill her sippy cup all the way up.  I made her high calorie shake and then sat down to check email.  She came and sat on my lap and after about three sips, she somehow managed to unscrew the cap and spill the entire sippy cup of vanilla shake on my lap.  She's sobbing because she actually wants her milk now that she can't have it, we're both a sticky, cold, wet mess, so I suggest we take a shower together, something we've been doing since she was two weeks old.  But no, that idea is met with more screams and sobs.  So in the interest of getting out of my soggy, vanilla shorts quicker, I ask if she wants to take a bath.  Of course she does.  With me.  So we take a bath together.  Taking a bath with a two year old is not relaxing...unless your idea of relaxing includes having slippery toddlers trying to kill themselves by climbing on your head and dump bucket after bucket of water into your ears.  Right.  It was fun, though.  And she was so happy. And we both got clean.  So really, it was a win. 

Post bath, I had to run to the grocery store, since we were now out of milk and Carnation instant breakfast.  But Hubs was home and the kids were playing together, so I got to go BY MYSELF.  I rolled down those windows.  I opened that sunroof.  I cranked K-LOVE on the radio and I cruised to that Safeway with my wet hair blowing in the breeze.  I was feeling fine.  It may or may not have deflated my ego a bit when I remembered I was driving to the grocery store in a white mini-van, but let's not linger there.  After a half hour of leisurely going up and down the aisles at Safeway, never once having to say "no" or "put that back" or "sit down in the cart before you fall and crack your head open!" and not once having to abandon the full cart for potty break 15 of the hour, I checked out and was able to load the car up in like two minutes. It was amazing.  You better believe I cruised on home just as fabulously in White Lightening, which is what I named our gorgeous used van.  And just for the record, all you people who are too cool for are missing out.  Mini-vans rule.  I'm just saying. 

Right, so where were we?  Ah yes, home from the store.  I walk in with 5 bags(paper, since I always forget my own) and go back for 3 more plus two gallons of milk.  Little Lady's in the kitchen crying for mama as if she can't breathe the air unless I'm holding her.  Clingfest 2014 starts back up as we try slightly successfully to get her to drink another shake.  I have no idea what time it is because there are too many pots and pans blocking the oven clock and the microwave clock is flashing 13 seconds remaining because who ever presses cancel unless they have to?  But the sun was setting on my glorious drive home, so it's gotta be 9 by now.  She's so tired she goes right down after we've located all 12 pacifiers and the blankey we can't live without.  Little Man goes to bed super easy after we remind him 8 times that yes, he does have to brush his teeth.  All of them.  And finally, Hubs and I settle on the couch with a Netflix show to unwind.  After we both wake up on the couch and stumble off to brush teeth, we climb into bed exhausted.  I pull up on the covers and something crashes to the floor.  I say, "Oh crap what was that?" and Hubs replies, "Don't worry, it was only your tiara." 

And there it is folks.  I was laughing about it the next morning while clearing the forgotten dinner dishes off the patio table, the casual way Hubs called it my tiara.  As if an adult woman who doesn't even brush her hair naturally has a tiara and wears it.  And I decided that I should rock tiara more often. 

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