Broken

I was battered and bruised and wholly washed over with grief this past weekend. I was a puddle. I asked Hubs if he thought I should see a professional(he doesn't think I need to). But then it passed. And now I'm okay again. It is amazing how this grief thing works. One minute, I'm doing fine; I can remember Jameson with a smile and I can play with Little Man and cook dinner and do the laundry and clean the house and speak in complete sentences and breathe. Then out of nowhere a tsunami washes over and drags me under and I'm left a crumpled, broken and incoherent puddle on the floor. I don't know why it happens this way. A little warning would be nice. Maybe I'd be able to brace myself for it. Maybe, maybe not. I am, after all, a broken woman trying to keep myself together enough to move forward through the hours, days, weeks...to find a way to live whole again.

But maybe being broken isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person. Maybe this brokenness is a gift. Leaning closer to God is never a bad thing. I started a new book for a book club this weekend and it is a lifeline. I don't believe in coincidences- this book is a gift from God to me. God still speaks and He has been using many amazing and faithful women to get his words of love and healing to me over these many months. I am so thankful that I'm listening. No matter where you are in your life, no matter if you are whole, holey, or completely empty, I highly recommend this book. It is changing the way I see and live.

One Thousand Gifts:
A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are
by Ann Voskamp


God Bless you all.