Harvesting Joy: Five

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Five

Happy Birthday Jameson.

We wish you were here and five and covered in chocolate and frosting. I'm sure heaven is better, but I still wish you were here. We love you and miss you terribly.

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Welcome!

Welcome to Harvesting Joy. I started this blog as my personal therapy as I learn how to cope with losing my beloved son, Jameson. Jameson was beautiful and wonderful and everything that was right in the world was in him. His smile really could light up a room and everyone who ever had the privilege to meet him has been forever changed by his beauty and love and happiness. He was so brave and so cute and so full of love and life. And now he is in heaven, living with Jesus, perfect in every way. My Irish Prince is now home in his kingdom. My heart simultaneously bursts with joy in knowing he is home and breaks in knowing he is no longer here with me.

I’ve always been one of those annoying people in life who seems to always see the sunny side. Here in the darkest hollow of my life, it is hard to find the sunny side. Sometimes it is hard to even catch a glimmer of light. And when it is hardest, I do my best to think about Jameson. My Jameson. The Jameson God gave to me three years ago. The Jameson who lived and laughed and cried and danced and loved. And no matter how badly this hurts now, it is worth it. Jameson was worth all of the heartache in the world. And when I focus on the gift of his life, that glimmer can light up the whole hollow. I know I don’t always have a choice in my destiny, but I always have a choice in how I react to my fate. And I choose to look for the light, look for the love, look for the good that is always there. It is not always easy; some days just showing up is a task, but we reap what we sow and I hope to harvest joy.